So last week’s Monday post was supposedly an anomaly, in that it was written pretty much at the end of the day rather than the beginning, flying in the face of convention with regards to weekend updates. And I’ve gone and done it again this week because I just really hate getting up early and writing stuff before work, you guys.

This week’s recipe coming up is another banana bread one; the base dough makes enough for both this recipe and the loaf I shared last week. I always make a new recipe several times to fine-tune it and fully road-test it, and then a final time to take photos, and I was doing that on Saturday, intending to make my originally planned banana monkey bread with passionfruit and honey drizzle. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of monkey bread, you’re about to be well-acquainted with it later in the week, but basically it is bread that you can pull apart in little lumps, and has a sort of saucy coating in amongst it. I had a sudden rush of blood to the head while making it (happens often) and completely abandoned the passionfruit and honey idea to go instead with a dulce de leche-style topping, which has now beaten out ‘indenture myself to the government for, like, my whole life in order to go to culinary school’ as the best idea I’ve ever had.

I also started packing up my house to move, which is happening in two months but I forsee that it will take me just about that long to get everything packed. I did three whole boxes before I lost the will to live continue with the task at hand. Packing houses up is the WORST.

Anyone do any cooking or baking in the weekend? What did you make?

 

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Banana & Cinnamon Swirl Loaf

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I feel that I need to make a distinction clear between this recipe and, say, the ‘typical’ banana loaf (in New Zealand at least), which should really be called a cake in my opinion. When is a loaf not really a loaf? Is the word ‘loaf’ only to do with the shape or does it have certain leading associations with things that are bready? Is ‘bready’ a terribly clumsy and unattractive way to describe the ancient and noble product of millennia of human culinary development, or should we just go with it?

Either way, I made a banana loaf that isn’t actually a cake-type thing, but is raised with yeast. It’s bread with bananas in it. I hope you’re picking up what I’m putting down because the recipe makes enough dough for two whole blog posts, so that’s a lot of banana bread. If you’re like me and only seem to buy fruit in order to watch it rot before your eyes, this kind of recipe is ideal. It answers that perennial question of what the hell you’re going to do with a bunch of bananas you’ve carelessly allowed to go black, after eating just one of them in a fit of enthusiasm for health and eating breakfast and all that stuff. Banana loaf does seem like kind of a breakfast-appropriate thing though.  read more…

I usually do a wee check-in on Monday morning but today I had to get up (or be forcibly gotten up, rather) at five in the g-dddam morning to drive my husband to the airport. And to make it even more tragic, daylight-saving having just kicked in meant that according to nature it was really four in the morning. Woe is me.

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I spent my weekend developing recipes; some of you may be thinking ‘isn’t that what she does all the time anyway, given that this is a food blog?’, and the answer to that is ‘no, I really don’t. Stop with the judging.’ I spend a lot of time doing incredibly worthy things like binge-watching endless television shows and attempting to cross-stitch pictures of cinnamon buns with cute little faces. That’s not going too well, by the way…I got frustrated with it and instead did a different, more straight-forward embroidery pattern that said ‘Don’t be a dick’, and gave it to my sister. I also spend lot of time reading, which is one of the scant number of hobbies I actually share with my husband. Luckily, binge-watching television shows is another. I’m being liberal with the terming of that activity as a ‘hobby’.

So anyway, I have been working on a recipe involving bananas, the perpetually close-to-rotting fruit that is ever-present in our house. I don’t know why we even buy bananas, really, but it leads to good recipes so I’ll continue to do so.

If you follow me on my Facebook page or Twitter feed, you might have seen that I managed to get not one, but two recipes past the moderator at Foodgawker, a website that compiles food blog recipes. It is, dare I say it with only a small amount of self-loathing and shame: ‘food porn’. I think it will be my new ‘it’s 9pm and I still haven’t fed myself’ meal idea reference.

Brioche Doughnuts with Tangy Raspberry Jelly


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‘Inject your own doughnut’ as a concept was all the rage, well, quite some time ago now, but I remain convinced that there’s life in that trend yet. What wouldn’t be enjoyable about plunging a giant needle into something and pumping it up with sugary goo? To quote Paris Hilton circa 2003: that’s hot. ( See, I do have my finger on the pulse of what is hip and cool). However, my views on injecting foodstuffs into things abruptly changed recently, when I erroneously volunteered to shoot up about 100 edible insects with lemon syrup for the dessert course at a gala function. Injecting jelly into fried dough is vastly more pleasant and rewarding, but I did suffer some traumatic flashbacks while I was preparing these doughnuts. You never want to hear the phrase ‘Huh, that one’s come back to life’ about a bug you’ve just euthanised, while you’ve got said creature IN YOUR HAND, with a hypodermic full of acidic liquid poised precariously close to your thumb. At least they weren’t spiders. Good grief, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS BLOG?  read more…

Good morning! This week I am continuing with the deep-fried stuff – for those of you thinking ‘enough with the deep-fryer already’, that’s not how deep-fryers work; you have to fill them up with an exorbitant amount of oil at what feels like a great expense, then get your money’s worth by using that oil to the nth degree before you finally concede that it might be time to put away the fryer. You then also have to do a biohazard-level deep cleaning of your kitchen. Deep-fryers are fun. For those of you who don’t own deep fryers (or are sensible enough not to allow them in your home), I obligingly found this recipe from Averie Cooks which is vaguely similar to the apple fritters, but you bake instead of fry.

We had an election upon the weekend (news-flash) so I spent most of it swinging between feeling patriotic, nihilistic and just plain confused. Then came the inevitable day-after of being grief-stricken and disillusioned, with a whisky hangover thrown in for good measure. What more appropriate time to eat a few fried doughnuts than that, I mean really. There are probably rather a lot of Scots doing likewise with their battered Mars bars right now as well.

I will return to being decidedly apolitical within a few days I’m sure, it just takes a bit for my melodramatic streak to settle down. See you later in the week for fried brioche doughnuts, injected with tangy raspberry jelly! And also some leftover caramel sauce, because that’s how we do in this household.